1
00:00:04,613 --> 00:00:07,659
[laughs]: W-Whoa,
what happened to you?

2
00:00:07,703 --> 00:00:09,313
I don't remember.

3
00:00:10,401 --> 00:00:12,751
You look like you slept
in the woods.

4
00:00:12,795 --> 00:00:15,015
Now I remember.

5
00:00:15,058 --> 00:00:16,755
I'm worried
about you, sis.

6
00:00:16,799 --> 00:00:21,499
You usually make it to a bed,
even if it's not yours.

7
00:00:21,543 --> 00:00:22,718
[phone vibrating]

8
00:00:24,067 --> 00:00:26,243
Riley, you are getting
a call from someone

9
00:00:26,287 --> 00:00:28,071
named "Soul Crusher."

10
00:00:28,115 --> 00:00:29,333
It's Vanessa.

11
00:00:29,377 --> 00:00:31,857
Oh.

12
00:00:31,901 --> 00:00:33,424
Hey, what's up?

13
00:00:34,599 --> 00:00:37,124
Okay, well, where
is it leaking from?

14
00:00:37,167 --> 00:00:39,952
Just look at it and see
where the water's coming out.

15
00:00:39,996 --> 00:00:43,434
Did she turn the water off?
She's got to turn the water off.

16
00:00:43,478 --> 00:00:44,740
I got this.

17
00:00:44,783 --> 00:00:47,047
Turn the water off.

18
00:00:48,352 --> 00:00:50,050
No, don't call a plumber.

19
00:00:50,093 --> 00:00:51,529
'Cause I can fix it.

20
00:00:51,573 --> 00:00:53,314
No, I'm not paying
for a plumber.

21
00:00:53,357 --> 00:00:54,750
I'm coming over right now.

22
00:00:54,793 --> 00:00:58,058
If I say that I'm
coming, I'm coming.

23
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:02,105
Okay, bye.

24
00:01:02,149 --> 00:01:03,628
Well, there goes my morning.

25
00:01:03,672 --> 00:01:06,109
Right, 'cause you had plans.

26
00:01:15,118 --> 00:01:16,554
What are you doing?

27
00:01:16,598 --> 00:01:18,121
I want to look nice for Vanessa.

28
00:01:18,165 --> 00:01:20,819
Come here. I will splash
some water on you, too.

29
00:01:22,256 --> 00:01:24,432
It's not a party.
We're fixing something.

30
00:01:24,475 --> 00:01:26,216
Yes, we are.

31
00:01:26,260 --> 00:01:28,436
We are fixing your marriage.

32
00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:31,395
Then we will have a party.
[clicks tongue]

33
00:01:32,527 --> 00:01:33,571
♪

34
00:01:33,615 --> 00:01:35,007
♪ Oh!

35
00:01:44,408 --> 00:01:45,975
I turned the water off.

36
00:01:46,018 --> 00:01:48,804
You can tell your dad
to stop texting me.

37
00:01:48,847 --> 00:01:50,153
Hello, Vanessa.

38
00:01:50,197 --> 00:01:51,981
Hey, Al.Where's Hazel?

39
00:01:52,024 --> 00:01:53,765
Oh, she's at my folks'.

40
00:01:53,809 --> 00:01:55,680
Oh, I was really
hoping to see her.

41
00:01:55,724 --> 00:01:58,857
I just needed a weekend off.
I worked 60 hours this week.

42
00:01:58,901 --> 00:02:01,338
Riley, massage her feet.[snaps fingers]

43
00:02:01,382 --> 00:02:03,166
Al, don't be weird.

44
00:02:05,212 --> 00:02:06,865
I'm-a go check the water heater.

45
00:02:06,909 --> 00:02:08,954
You have a very
beautiful home.

46
00:02:08,998 --> 00:02:11,131
Oh, thank you.

47
00:02:11,174 --> 00:02:14,003
Ah, I see that you have
the rug I sent you.

48
00:02:14,046 --> 00:02:17,746
Oh, I really love it.
Thanks again.

49
00:02:17,789 --> 00:02:20,270
It looks really nice where
you have it in the hallway.

50
00:02:20,314 --> 00:02:22,142
I thought so, too.
[chuckles]

51
00:02:23,186 --> 00:02:24,883
But...

52
00:02:24,927 --> 00:02:27,190
I think it would look
even better in the living room.

53
00:02:27,234 --> 00:02:29,410
Um, yeah, maybe.
[laughs]

54
00:02:29,453 --> 00:02:31,151
Ah. Let us see.

55
00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:36,373
Uh, can I get you something?

56
00:02:36,417 --> 00:02:38,070
Maybe some tea?

57
00:02:38,114 --> 00:02:40,377
Oh, you never have to ask
an Afghan if they want tea.

58
00:02:40,421 --> 00:02:41,639
They do.

59
00:02:43,554 --> 00:02:46,818
Traditionally, men get green tea
and women are served black tea.

60
00:02:46,862 --> 00:02:48,864
Oh, I don't have
any green tea.

61
00:02:48,907 --> 00:02:50,431
Oh, that is okay.

62
00:02:50,474 --> 00:02:52,476
I am confident
in my masculinity.

63
00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:55,827
But if you ever serve
my Uncle Dawood black tea,

64
00:02:55,871 --> 00:02:57,220
he would never come back
to your house.

65
00:02:58,395 --> 00:03:00,136
How about I get you
some fruit juice?

66
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,530
Now, that is a drink for men.

67
00:03:05,707 --> 00:03:07,970
Oh, this looks so much better.

68
00:03:08,013 --> 00:03:09,189
Hmm.

69
00:03:14,498 --> 00:03:15,630
Lose something?

70
00:03:15,673 --> 00:03:17,153
Don't worry about it.

71
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,895
Geez. Hope you find
your manners in there.

72
00:03:22,376 --> 00:03:24,726
Why do you got
so much stuff in your purse?

73
00:03:24,769 --> 00:03:26,902
What am I,
a guest on your podcast?

74
00:03:30,906 --> 00:03:32,951
I lost Michael's dog tags.

75
00:03:32,995 --> 00:03:35,345
Oh...

76
00:03:35,389 --> 00:03:38,261
Well, okay, don't worry.
They'll turn up.

77
00:03:38,305 --> 00:03:39,610
Oh, yeah, here they are.

78
00:03:39,654 --> 00:03:41,395
Oh, really?
No!

79
00:03:43,005 --> 00:03:44,615
Well, where'd you lose them?

80
00:03:44,659 --> 00:03:47,923
I don't know.
That's what "lost" means.

81
00:03:49,751 --> 00:03:52,493
I'm surprised. I just never
seen you take them off.

82
00:03:52,536 --> 00:03:54,364
I don't.
I had them on last night

83
00:03:54,408 --> 00:03:56,410
and I went to the party and then

84
00:03:56,453 --> 00:03:58,107
they must have
fallen off somewhere.

85
00:03:58,150 --> 00:03:59,891
Well, no problem.
Where was this party?

86
00:03:59,935 --> 00:04:01,980
It was out by Walnut Creek.

87
00:04:02,024 --> 00:04:05,027
That's just woods.
Who has a party in the woods?

88
00:04:05,070 --> 00:04:08,335
Bad people.
Who do you think?

89
00:04:08,378 --> 00:04:10,337
All right.

90
00:04:10,380 --> 00:04:12,208
Let's go find them.There's no way.

91
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,428
Not without assistance.What do you mean?

92
00:04:14,471 --> 00:04:16,517
I got a friend. Walk with me.

93
00:04:19,824 --> 00:04:22,914
Bertha, we need your help.

94
00:04:22,958 --> 00:04:24,655
Your friend is a rifle?

95
00:04:24,699 --> 00:04:26,875
That's Emily.

96
00:04:26,918 --> 00:04:29,051
Bertha's my metal detector.

97
00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:33,708
Hello, darling.

98
00:04:35,710 --> 00:04:37,581
There's a reason
you're not dating.

99
00:04:40,758 --> 00:04:43,065
Thank you.Mm-hmm.

100
00:04:43,108 --> 00:04:46,677
You know, my mother's
cousin made this rug.

101
00:04:46,721 --> 00:04:49,245
When Riley told me
how special you were,

102
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,247
I commissioned him to
weave a rug that would be

103
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:52,814
a testament to your love.

104
00:04:52,857 --> 00:04:54,772
You see these two birds?Mm-hmm.

105
00:04:54,816 --> 00:04:57,601
That one is you and
that one is Riley.

106
00:04:57,645 --> 00:04:59,647
It's very nice.

107
00:04:59,690 --> 00:05:02,084
Flying above the
clouds of trouble.

108
00:05:04,086 --> 00:05:06,784
Al, I don't want to put you
in the middle of our problems.

109
00:05:06,828 --> 00:05:08,612
Oh, I am already in the middle.

110
00:05:08,656 --> 00:05:10,571
See this little flower
between the two birds?

111
00:05:10,614 --> 00:05:11,963
That is me.

112
00:05:15,750 --> 00:05:18,100
Do you think you should
maybe go check on Riley?

113
00:05:18,143 --> 00:05:19,275
No.

114
00:05:24,367 --> 00:05:26,369
[exhales]
I-I appreciate

115
00:05:26,413 --> 00:05:29,633
how much you want to help,
but we tried.

116
00:05:29,677 --> 00:05:31,505
We couldn't make it work.

117
00:05:32,593 --> 00:05:34,072
Do you think
you tried hard enough?

118
00:05:35,291 --> 00:05:37,815
He's the one who didn't
try hard enough.

119
00:05:37,859 --> 00:05:39,774
Hmm. That might be true.

120
00:05:39,817 --> 00:05:41,863
He was probably exhausted
from war.

121
00:05:41,906 --> 00:05:44,866
There was a lot of walking.

122
00:05:44,909 --> 00:05:47,738
All he had to do was show me
he wanted to be a part

123
00:05:47,782 --> 00:05:51,220
of this family and he couldn't.

124
00:05:53,178 --> 00:05:56,530
I can hear how painful
that is for you,

125
00:05:56,573 --> 00:05:59,402
but I know he still
loves you very much.

126
00:05:59,446 --> 00:06:01,622
If he still loves me so much,

127
00:06:01,665 --> 00:06:04,451
then why is he sleeping
with other women?

128
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:07,889
I'd better go check on Riley.

129
00:06:10,631 --> 00:06:12,154
ART:
Okay, here's how it works.

130
00:06:12,197 --> 00:06:14,896
Point at the ground,
turn it on.

131
00:06:14,939 --> 00:06:16,419
Beep equals metal.

132
00:06:16,463 --> 00:06:18,378
No beep... [clicks tongue]
no metal.

133
00:06:19,857 --> 00:06:20,989
Got it.

134
00:06:21,032 --> 00:06:22,382
No! No, no, no, no, no.

135
00:06:22,425 --> 00:06:24,601
I'm the only one
that dances with Bertha.

136
00:06:24,645 --> 00:06:29,345
Now, we got to visualize
the woods as a grid of squares

137
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,478
measuring one yard
by one yard.

138
00:06:31,521 --> 00:06:33,262
None of this meter crap.

139
00:06:33,305 --> 00:06:35,525
Can we please just start?

140
00:06:35,569 --> 00:06:37,005
Too bad the ground's not wet.

141
00:06:37,048 --> 00:06:38,398
[sniffs]

142
00:06:38,441 --> 00:06:41,009
Dry soil is suboptimal
for conductivity.

143
00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:44,534
Do you want me to pee
on the ground?

144
00:06:44,578 --> 00:06:47,450
I did it last night.
I can do it again.

145
00:06:47,494 --> 00:06:49,452
Supposed to rain later.
Maybe we should wait.

146
00:06:49,496 --> 00:06:51,715
Dad.Or now is good.

147
00:06:52,716 --> 00:06:54,762
[low whirring]

148
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,422
Is that as fast
as you can go?

149
00:07:03,510 --> 00:07:04,728
Were you
even listening to me?

150
00:07:04,772 --> 00:07:06,295
We got to be methodical.

151
00:07:09,733 --> 00:07:10,908
[beeping]

152
00:07:10,952 --> 00:07:11,909
Ha!

153
00:07:11,953 --> 00:07:13,955
Did you find them?

154
00:07:13,998 --> 00:07:16,000
Bottle cap.
[grunts]

155
00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:19,830
Now what?

156
00:07:19,874 --> 00:07:21,789
Got to keep a log.

157
00:07:21,832 --> 00:07:23,617
"Bottle cap.

158
00:07:23,660 --> 00:07:25,880
"Red square,

159
00:07:25,923 --> 00:07:27,838
two alpha."

160
00:07:29,971 --> 00:07:31,755
"1100 hours."

161
00:07:31,799 --> 00:07:34,758
That's how long it's gonna
take to find the dog tags.

162
00:07:34,802 --> 00:07:36,804
If we're lucky.
[chuckles]

163
00:07:36,847 --> 00:07:39,371
Talk to me, Bertha.

164
00:07:42,549 --> 00:07:44,768
Why the hell are you talking to
her about who I'm sleeping with?

165
00:07:44,812 --> 00:07:46,074
She brought it up.

166
00:07:46,117 --> 00:07:48,511
Clearly,
she is not done with you.

167
00:07:51,166 --> 00:07:52,689
I shouldn't have
let you come with me.

168
00:07:52,733 --> 00:07:55,300
Mm. That was poor judgment
on your part.

169
00:07:55,344 --> 00:07:56,954
Now,

170
00:07:56,998 --> 00:07:58,739
what about
these other women?

171
00:07:58,782 --> 00:08:00,349
What about 'em?

172
00:08:00,392 --> 00:08:01,959
You have a duty
to your wife.

173
00:08:02,003 --> 00:08:04,005
Says who?
We're separated.

174
00:08:04,048 --> 00:08:05,049
I can do whatever I want.

175
00:08:05,093 --> 00:08:06,703
I could be with a million women.

176
00:08:08,357 --> 00:08:10,533
The reason
he is debasing himself

177
00:08:10,577 --> 00:08:12,883
is because there is a
beautiful hole in his life

178
00:08:12,927 --> 00:08:13,928
in the shape of you.

179
00:08:13,971 --> 00:08:15,277
He told me
himself--

180
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,497
a million women
could not fill it.

181
00:08:17,540 --> 00:08:19,847
[scoffs]
What number is he on now?

182
00:08:19,890 --> 00:08:21,544
My point is,

183
00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:23,328
he would never look
at another woman

184
00:08:23,372 --> 00:08:26,984
if he were not tormented by
the agony of not being with you.

185
00:08:27,028 --> 00:08:28,986
That is all very moving.

186
00:08:29,030 --> 00:08:31,032
Yes, it is.

187
00:08:31,075 --> 00:08:33,121
But none of it's true.

188
00:08:34,339 --> 00:08:36,733
Why are you acting
like the Whore of Babylon?

189
00:08:36,777 --> 00:08:39,475
You cheated on her
while you were still married.

190
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,477
How can you not be satisfied
with her, Riley?

191
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:44,567
Sh-She is kind
and smart and beautiful.

192
00:08:44,611 --> 00:08:46,700
You will never do better
than her.

193
00:08:46,743 --> 00:08:48,397
I get it.
I screwed up.

194
00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:50,007
She screwed up.
We both made mistakes.

195
00:08:50,051 --> 00:08:52,227
No, just you.
She did nothing wrong,

196
00:08:52,270 --> 00:08:54,838
except put a silk rug
in a high-traffic area.

197
00:08:55,839 --> 00:08:57,362
You think she's such a saint?

198
00:08:57,406 --> 00:08:59,495
Why don't you ask her
about Freddy?

199
00:09:00,757 --> 00:09:02,063
Who is Freddy?

200
00:09:02,106 --> 00:09:03,586
Oh, Freddy is her "friend"

201
00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:05,501
who's just "really nice"

202
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,242
but doesn't
"want anything from her"

203
00:09:07,285 --> 00:09:09,679
but he's always there to listen
whenever she's got a "problem"

204
00:09:09,723 --> 00:09:11,376
with "me."

205
00:09:11,420 --> 00:09:14,336
What is going on
with your dancing fingers?

206
00:09:15,293 --> 00:09:16,860
I'm just saying, she
was awfully cozy with the guy

207
00:09:16,904 --> 00:09:18,688
the whole time I was deployed.

208
00:09:23,867 --> 00:09:26,130
I should not be
telling you this,

209
00:09:26,174 --> 00:09:27,697
but while Riley was fighting

210
00:09:27,741 --> 00:09:30,308
thousands of miles
away from home,

211
00:09:30,352 --> 00:09:33,703
his greatest battle
was raging right here,

212
00:09:33,747 --> 00:09:36,619
with his own jealous thoughts
about you and Freddy.

213
00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:37,664
Ugh.

214
00:09:37,707 --> 00:09:39,535
God, again with Freddy.

215
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:40,971
Ugh!

216
00:09:41,015 --> 00:09:43,408
We've been over this
a hundred times.Mm-hmm.

217
00:09:43,452 --> 00:09:45,062
He was just a friend,
a nice guy,

218
00:09:45,106 --> 00:09:46,934
who never once tried anything.

219
00:09:46,977 --> 00:09:49,023
Okay, good. So
I can assure Riley

220
00:09:49,066 --> 00:09:51,460
that there is nothing going
on with you and Freddy.

221
00:09:52,461 --> 00:09:53,462
Well...

222
00:09:53,505 --> 00:09:54,550
there wasn't.

223
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:57,509
[sighs]:
Mm.

224
00:09:58,685 --> 00:10:00,164
We're dating now.

225
00:10:00,208 --> 00:10:01,339
Does Riley know?

226
00:10:01,383 --> 00:10:03,428
Does Riley
know what?

227
00:10:04,473 --> 00:10:06,736
You know, this is your own
private, personal business.

228
00:10:06,780 --> 00:10:09,826
I do not want to meddle in the
affairs of a husband and wife.

229
00:10:11,262 --> 00:10:12,655
Just tell me.

230
00:10:12,699 --> 00:10:14,265
[sighs]

231
00:10:14,309 --> 00:10:16,224
Fine.

232
00:10:16,267 --> 00:10:18,487
Al asked me
if I was dating Freddy,

233
00:10:18,530 --> 00:10:19,880
and I said yes.

234
00:10:21,838 --> 00:10:23,448
I knew it.

235
00:10:23,492 --> 00:10:24,928
No, you knew nothing.

236
00:10:24,972 --> 00:10:27,583
This only started
since we were separated.

237
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,454
It's not like
you haven't had your fun.

238
00:10:29,498 --> 00:10:31,195
Yeah, but Freddy?

239
00:10:31,239 --> 00:10:32,762
Seriously,
of all the guys in the world,

240
00:10:32,806 --> 00:10:34,285
you picked that guy?

241
00:10:35,852 --> 00:10:37,898
Suddenly
you have nothing to say?

242
00:10:40,727 --> 00:10:43,033
I mean, that dude
was always waiting to swoop in,

243
00:10:43,077 --> 00:10:44,600
and you assured me, "No, Riley,

244
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:46,167
it isn't like that.
We just hang out."

245
00:10:46,210 --> 00:10:47,908
Yeah, because when I said it,
it was true.

246
00:10:47,951 --> 00:10:50,475
Well-- news flash-- no guy likes
to just hang out with you.

247
00:10:50,519 --> 00:10:51,476
Excuse me?

248
00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:52,608
No, no, what he means is,

249
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,131
they do like
to hang out with you

250
00:10:54,175 --> 00:10:56,220
but they want more.

251
00:10:57,178 --> 00:10:58,135
Don't help.

252
00:10:58,179 --> 00:10:59,659
Do better.

253
00:11:01,356 --> 00:11:04,489
My daughter lives here, okay, so
you can't just have random guys

254
00:11:04,533 --> 00:11:06,013
coming and going
whenever you want.

255
00:11:06,056 --> 00:11:08,493
No, Freddy has known Hazel
since she was a baby.

256
00:11:08,537 --> 00:11:10,757
He held her
in the hospital.

257
00:11:11,758 --> 00:11:14,804
You mean the way I didn't
'cause I was fighting a war?

258
00:11:14,848 --> 00:11:17,546
You know that's not
what I meant.

259
00:11:17,589 --> 00:11:18,634
Of course he knew that.

260
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:19,809
Shut up, Al!Stay out of this.

261
00:11:19,853 --> 00:11:21,115
All right.

262
00:11:21,158 --> 00:11:23,900
Now you are sounding
like a team.

263
00:11:30,951 --> 00:11:34,563
[rapid beeping]

264
00:11:34,606 --> 00:11:37,174
Ugh. Another bottle cap.

265
00:11:37,218 --> 00:11:40,700
Yup, they are the weeds
of metal detecting.

266
00:11:43,441 --> 00:11:45,530
See you in an hour.

267
00:11:45,574 --> 00:11:47,576
I'm such an idiot.

268
00:11:47,619 --> 00:11:50,100
How do you lose something
that hangs around your neck?

269
00:11:50,144 --> 00:11:52,624
Well, if I was trying
to be funny, I'd say...

270
00:11:52,668 --> 00:11:55,105
Nothing.

271
00:11:56,846 --> 00:11:59,153
After he died, his
mom gave them to me.

272
00:11:59,196 --> 00:12:00,807
Don't worry.
We're gonna find 'em.

273
00:12:00,850 --> 00:12:02,460
We've been walking back
and forth for three hours.

274
00:12:02,504 --> 00:12:04,158
All we found
is garbage.

275
00:12:04,201 --> 00:12:05,986
Well, now we know
where they're not.

276
00:12:06,029 --> 00:12:07,683
I call that progress.

277
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:09,946
This is hopeless. Just
put that stupid thing away.

278
00:12:09,990 --> 00:12:11,818
Hey, don't yell at Bertha.

279
00:12:11,861 --> 00:12:13,602
She's not the one
that got hammered

280
00:12:13,645 --> 00:12:15,909
and lost her fiancé's
dog tags.

281
00:12:18,694 --> 00:12:20,696
[cries]Ah, geez.

282
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:23,394
Ah, don't cry. I...

283
00:12:23,438 --> 00:12:26,267
Hey, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

284
00:12:26,310 --> 00:12:29,313
[crying]:
Michael would be so disappointed in me.

285
00:12:29,357 --> 00:12:31,489
Absolutely not.
He loved you.

286
00:12:31,533 --> 00:12:33,665
Yeah, when I had a
full ride to NYU

287
00:12:33,709 --> 00:12:37,757
and my worst habit was leaving
my keys in the front door.

288
00:12:38,975 --> 00:12:41,108
Ah, Lizzie, hey,
look at me, look at me.

289
00:12:41,151 --> 00:12:44,285
[sniffles]This is just a rough patch.

290
00:12:44,328 --> 00:12:45,852
You'll get through it.

291
00:12:47,201 --> 00:12:49,029
When?

292
00:12:49,072 --> 00:12:51,814
Boy, that's a good question.

293
00:12:57,864 --> 00:13:00,257
[exhales]

294
00:13:00,301 --> 00:13:02,520
Can I ask you something?

295
00:13:02,564 --> 00:13:05,045
Can I stop you?

296
00:13:05,088 --> 00:13:08,396
Why would you risk your marriage
for these other women?

297
00:13:10,311 --> 00:13:12,356
I don't know, man.

298
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:15,229
I was just...
just chasing a feeling.

299
00:13:17,187 --> 00:13:19,102
What does that mean?

300
00:13:19,146 --> 00:13:22,540
You're looking for some
deep answer, Al, but I got none.

301
00:13:22,584 --> 00:13:25,892
All right, I did a bunch
of dumb things for no reason.

302
00:13:25,935 --> 00:13:29,069
Oh, and heads up--
I'm still doing 'em.

303
00:13:29,112 --> 00:13:31,201
Hmm.

304
00:13:33,987 --> 00:13:38,643
Riley jaan,I have been
in many moments with you.

305
00:13:38,687 --> 00:13:41,472
Life-and-death moments.

306
00:13:41,516 --> 00:13:44,214
And you always knew
what to do.

307
00:13:44,258 --> 00:13:46,956
[sighs heavily]

308
00:13:47,957 --> 00:13:50,960
Well... now I don't.

309
00:13:51,004 --> 00:13:52,919
[clears throat]

310
00:13:52,962 --> 00:13:55,008
I love Vanessa,
I don't love her.

311
00:13:55,051 --> 00:13:57,184
I'm texting with some chick
I barely know,

312
00:13:57,227 --> 00:13:58,576
and then I ghost her.

313
00:13:58,620 --> 00:14:00,404
One day, I can't get out of bed.

314
00:14:00,448 --> 00:14:02,580
The next, I got to ride my
motorcycle as fast as it'll go.

315
00:14:02,624 --> 00:14:04,017
You have a motorcycle?

316
00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:05,627
I have pieces of motorcycle

317
00:14:05,670 --> 00:14:08,499
and a titanium screw
in my shoulder.

318
00:14:12,808 --> 00:14:17,073
You know how everybody thinks
they're the hero of their movie?

319
00:14:18,509 --> 00:14:20,729
I don't think I am.

320
00:14:22,165 --> 00:14:24,951
I don't even know
what the movie is anymore.

321
00:14:28,737 --> 00:14:32,306
I know exactly
what movie you're in.

322
00:14:32,349 --> 00:14:35,526
It is Christmas Eve and you are
in the Nakatomi building.

323
00:14:36,701 --> 00:14:38,442
You are having trouble
with your wife,

324
00:14:38,486 --> 00:14:40,009
but you will walk barefoot

325
00:14:40,053 --> 00:14:41,924
through broken glass
to save her.

326
00:14:41,968 --> 00:14:44,187
And I am your secret weapon.

327
00:14:44,231 --> 00:14:47,103
I am the gun taped
to the back of your neck.

328
00:14:47,147 --> 00:14:49,323
Yippie-kai-yay, Mr. Trucker.

329
00:14:52,413 --> 00:14:53,675
Is that what you think he said?

330
00:14:53,718 --> 00:14:57,287
I had it on VHS.
Sound was not great.

331
00:15:02,597 --> 00:15:04,904
I remember when Michael
came to the house

332
00:15:04,947 --> 00:15:07,689
and asked my permission
to marry you.

333
00:15:07,732 --> 00:15:09,909
[chuckles]
Old school.

334
00:15:09,952 --> 00:15:13,129
Brought me a
box of steaks.

335
00:15:13,173 --> 00:15:14,957
There's still one
in the freezer.

336
00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:17,133
Can't bring myself to eat it.

337
00:15:17,177 --> 00:15:21,137
I know how much you love
red meat, so that means a lot.

338
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:29,580
"Red Zulu Niner.

339
00:15:29,624 --> 00:15:32,148
1730 hours.
All clear."

340
00:15:32,192 --> 00:15:33,758
[groans softly]

341
00:15:33,802 --> 00:15:35,891
The old L3 is acting up.

342
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,197
You want to stop?

343
00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:39,025
No. I just want
to sit down a second.

344
00:15:39,068 --> 00:15:41,766
Then we'll sweep
that section by the rock.

345
00:15:41,810 --> 00:15:44,030
[sighs]Hey, you doing
all right?

346
00:15:44,073 --> 00:15:45,596
Me? [laughs]

347
00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:47,163
Never better.

348
00:15:47,207 --> 00:15:49,731
A couple of mai tais,
it's my dream vacation.

349
00:15:49,774 --> 00:15:52,429
We can call it now and
come back in the morning.

350
00:15:52,473 --> 00:15:53,648
No way.

351
00:15:53,691 --> 00:15:55,650
I got a bottle
of Advil in the truck,

352
00:15:55,693 --> 00:15:58,870
and old Bertha here
can see in the dark.

353
00:15:58,914 --> 00:16:00,829
All right, then
let's stop for me.

354
00:16:00,872 --> 00:16:02,309
Really?

355
00:16:02,352 --> 00:16:04,485
Yeah. I'm exhausted.

356
00:16:04,528 --> 00:16:06,574
Oh, thank goodness.

357
00:16:07,836 --> 00:16:11,666
"Operation suspended
until further notice."

358
00:16:12,667 --> 00:16:14,886
Ah, geez, you're
writing in cursive?

359
00:16:14,930 --> 00:16:16,976
What is this,
your secret diary?

360
00:16:21,154 --> 00:16:24,592
Ugh. Come on.
I'm not ready for another round.

361
00:16:24,635 --> 00:16:26,681
Me, neither.
Just here to finish the job.

362
00:16:26,724 --> 00:16:29,597
Come in.
Thanks.

363
00:16:30,554 --> 00:16:31,991
Where's Al?

364
00:16:32,034 --> 00:16:33,644
Oh, I didn't want him
to come with me,

365
00:16:33,688 --> 00:16:36,560
so I told him I was going
to a pork restaurant.

366
00:16:36,604 --> 00:16:38,780
That's terrible.

367
00:16:41,609 --> 00:16:44,046
Oh, you moved the rug back.

368
00:16:44,090 --> 00:16:47,571
If you have any feelings left
for me at all, don't tell him.

369
00:16:49,443 --> 00:16:51,097
Tell him what?

370
00:16:57,668 --> 00:16:58,843
Hey.
Hi.

371
00:16:58,887 --> 00:17:00,019
I brought you a beer.

372
00:17:00,062 --> 00:17:02,021
Thanks.
Mm-hmm.

373
00:17:10,159 --> 00:17:12,205
[sighs]

374
00:17:13,162 --> 00:17:15,121
You know that thing
I said earlier

375
00:17:15,164 --> 00:17:18,689
about how nobody wants
to hang out with you--

376
00:17:18,733 --> 00:17:21,388
I was just mad.

377
00:17:22,911 --> 00:17:25,174
Everybody likes to
hang out with you.

378
00:17:25,218 --> 00:17:29,004
You're just...
really great.

379
00:17:31,224 --> 00:17:32,790
Thanks.

380
00:17:34,879 --> 00:17:38,100
And I know I probably
should have told you

381
00:17:38,144 --> 00:17:40,624
about Freddy earlier.
I just...

382
00:17:40,668 --> 00:17:42,844
Thought I'd lose it?

383
00:17:42,887 --> 00:17:44,367
Yeah.

384
00:17:44,411 --> 00:17:46,761
You know me well.

385
00:17:46,804 --> 00:17:50,982
Also, I hate when you're right.[scoffs]

386
00:17:51,026 --> 00:17:53,376
It doesn't
happen much.

387
00:17:56,858 --> 00:18:00,340
Does, um, Hazel know
about you and him?

388
00:18:01,602 --> 00:18:03,560
Uh, no.

389
00:18:03,604 --> 00:18:05,649
It's still pretty new.

390
00:18:07,651 --> 00:18:09,479
But she's doing okay?

391
00:18:09,523 --> 00:18:12,178
Other than wanting
to be like her dad

392
00:18:12,221 --> 00:18:14,484
when she grows up,
she's doing great.

393
00:18:16,182 --> 00:18:18,445
Yeah?
Yeah.

394
00:18:18,488 --> 00:18:20,229
She quit Girl Scouts
when she found out

395
00:18:20,273 --> 00:18:22,536
there was no target practice.[laughs]

396
00:18:24,929 --> 00:18:26,714
That's my girl.

397
00:18:28,629 --> 00:18:30,761
This is nice.

398
00:18:30,805 --> 00:18:35,114
I've enjoyed these two minutes
of not fighting with you.

399
00:18:35,157 --> 00:18:36,854
Me, too.

400
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,119
I don't think
we should have sex, though.

401
00:18:41,468 --> 00:18:42,947
You're impossible.

402
00:18:44,862 --> 00:18:47,865
Well, you don't ask,
you don't get.

403
00:18:50,216 --> 00:18:52,131
Why did you take
a metal detector

404
00:18:52,174 --> 00:18:54,307
instead of a giant magnet?

405
00:18:54,350 --> 00:18:56,396
What?

406
00:18:57,440 --> 00:19:02,445
Then all of the metal would fly
out of the ground right to you.

407
00:19:02,489 --> 00:19:05,622
Sure. And-and then,
we could have painted a door

408
00:19:05,666 --> 00:19:08,669
on the side of a boulder,
opened it and been home.

409
00:19:10,323 --> 00:19:12,716
What is she talking about?

410
00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:14,153
Road Runner and Coyote.

411
00:19:15,502 --> 00:19:17,765
Who here speaks English?

412
00:19:23,379 --> 00:19:25,207
Methodical!

413
00:19:25,251 --> 00:19:28,297
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
You found them?!

414
00:19:28,341 --> 00:19:29,994
Yeah, I couldn't sleep.Oh...

415
00:19:30,038 --> 00:19:31,344
I heard the rain.

416
00:19:31,387 --> 00:19:33,563
I knew I had my window
of peak conductivity.

417
00:19:33,607 --> 00:19:35,609
Where were they?Get this.

418
00:19:35,652 --> 00:19:37,219
Orange Bravo Seven.

419
00:19:37,263 --> 00:19:40,353
Of course. That's
where I threw up.

420
00:19:43,486 --> 00:19:45,009
Hmm.
Thanks, Dad.

421
00:19:46,794 --> 00:19:48,970
And?

422
00:19:49,013 --> 00:19:51,059
Thank you, Bertha.

423
00:19:52,016 --> 00:19:53,801
All right.
You don't have to get weird.

424
00:20:00,503 --> 00:20:02,157
[laughter]Okay, okay.

425
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,941
So, we're flying
low level with NVGs

426
00:20:03,985 --> 00:20:06,553
for a CSAR pickup
in enemy territory, right?

427
00:20:06,596 --> 00:20:09,251
Suddenly, these tracers
start zipping over our heads.

428
00:20:09,295 --> 00:20:10,557
I look back,

429
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:12,863
and this clown is
miming the drum solo

430
00:20:12,907 --> 00:20:14,691
to Phil Collins'
"In the Air Tonight."

431
00:20:14,735 --> 00:20:17,259
[imitates drum fill]

432
00:20:17,303 --> 00:20:20,741
[laughter]

433
00:20:20,784 --> 00:20:24,135
All right, I want to make
a toast to Lizzie and Michael.

434
00:20:24,179 --> 00:20:26,094
Aw.
I've known you both for so long--

435
00:20:26,137 --> 00:20:28,052
my sister
and my buddy,

436
00:20:28,096 --> 00:20:29,880
second in line
to be my best friend.

437
00:20:29,924 --> 00:20:32,274
Riley!What? Kenny's got a boat.

438
00:20:32,318 --> 00:20:34,015
Oh, come on.Anyways,

439
00:20:34,058 --> 00:20:37,758
I don't want to get too sappy,
but now you guys are engaged,

440
00:20:37,801 --> 00:20:40,151
and I feel sorry
for the both of you.

441
00:20:40,195 --> 00:20:41,892
Uh... cheers.Cheers.

442
00:20:41,936 --> 00:20:43,764
Cheers, man.Cheers.

443
00:20:44,721 --> 00:20:47,681
You guys should get the house
across the street from us

444
00:20:47,724 --> 00:20:50,597
and just have, like,
a million babies.

445
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:52,642
And you and me--

446
00:20:52,686 --> 00:20:55,341
we're gonna start that
security company and get rich.

447
00:20:55,384 --> 00:20:57,647
You're already rich
with that officer money.

448
00:20:57,691 --> 00:21:00,476
Real money. Boat money.

449
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:02,391
If you buy a boat, Kenny's out.

450
00:21:02,435 --> 00:21:03,871
[laughter]

451
00:21:03,914 --> 00:21:06,003
Okay, well, if you
guys will excuse us,

452
00:21:06,047 --> 00:21:07,483
we're gonna go
to the restroom

453
00:21:07,527 --> 00:21:09,093
and talk about you guys
behind your backs.

454
00:21:09,137 --> 00:21:10,399
Oh, have fun.

455
00:21:16,144 --> 00:21:20,366
[sighs] Are we the two luckiest
guys in the world or what?

456
00:21:27,895 --> 00:21:32,856
Captioning sponsored by
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457
00:21:32,900 --> 00:21:35,294
Captioned by
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458
00:21:35,344 --> 00:21:39,894
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